And Have the Natural Birth of Your Dreams
Are you pregnant for the first time? Do you dream of having a peaceful, undisturbed birth experience? Do you think you can just show up to the hospital and have the birth you are dreaming of? I suppose it could happen, but why leave it to chance.
In this post, I’ll share my 3 rookie mistakes to avoid when you want a peaceful birth experience. Grab yourself some tea and let’s dig in.
What is a peaceful birth?
Before you work on getting your dream birth, you need to understand what is needed to have a natural birth. A natural birth is basically just letting your body birth the way it needs to unless a complication comes up. That’s it. Nothing fancy.
The problem is that in modern times, the medical establishment seems to have forgotten that we are mammals and even though we live in modern times, our bodies still birth like its the 1300s.
That means we tend to birth best when we are:
- In a warm, dim, quiet space
- Being surrounded by people that make us feel safe
- Being left to birth without being interrupted by questions or loud, unfamiliar noises
This is not anything like what you will find in most hospitals. I see again and again, new parents who don’t realize their options and then have regrets after they don’t end up with the birth they imagined. Let’s look at the top mistakes I see first time parents make, and what you can do instead.
Number One Rookie Mistake: Not deciding where you want to give birth FIRST
My client Nancy wanted nothing more than to have a natural, water birth. When she came to me, she had signed up with her OBGYN who happen to do births at Tacoma General. She heard they have tubs and so she assumed that she would be able to have a water birth.
Did you spot it? Can you see where Nancy went wrong with her plan?
That’s right, it was not researching where she wanted to give birth BEFORE picking her provider. Tacoma General doesn’t do water births. So if she wanted a water birth, she couldn’t stay with her provider.
Thankfully, with my free Beginning Pregnancy in the South Sound Guide, she ended up changing to a midwife who worked at the St. Josephs Birth Center. She had a lovely water birth and as a bonus enjoyed her prenatal visits more because the midwife spent more time with her.
This mistake can be easily made because:
- People tend to go with what they know
- Hospitals will promote their positives and not mention the BUTs
- First time parents are often unaware of their choices
Do you know where your provider delivers at? Is it where you want to give birth?
What to do instead:
Before you pick your provider, decide where you want to give birth. Then contact the place and get a list of providers who service that location. Also if you want something specific such as water birth, ASK the location if they do that before settling on that choice.
Mistake #2: Picking your provider based on who your friends had
The next biggest mistake I see people picking a provider just because their friend used them or because the local moms in there Facebook moms group used them. This makes sense on the surface because we like our friends and ask them for their recommendation on all kinds of things.
I will start off by saying this CAN work out for you. IF your friends had the same birth goals as you do. If you want a natural birth and your friend did not, then you are asking the wrong person. This is a great lesson in parenting as well. When asking other parents advice, make sure you agree with their over all parenting philosophy.
What to do instead:
Asking around is a great idea. Just make sure you are asking the right people. Ask them what kind of birth they were hoping for and how it turned out. Sometime people will recommend someone that was OK but not that great because they really don’t know any better. Get details.
Mistake 3: Not looking outside of the hospital for your birth
This one is easy to make. When you think of birth, your first thought is often going to be of a person giving birth in a hospital. In the US, about 98% of babies are born in the hospital but you have so many other options!
The reason why this is a mistake is because a hospital is actually the hardest place to have a natural birth at. It can be done for sure but it requires a lot more planning and work then giving birth pretty much anywhere else. Not to say hospitals are all bad. But you need to know all of your options to make a truly informed choice.
A hospital is the best place to give birth if you or your baby are high risk, however they are not set up to allow for our natural birthing instincts to take over. They tend to be noisy, bright, and full of strangers. Everything we want to avoid when aiming for a natural birth.
What to do instead:
Research your options in your area. Here in Tacoma, we have 2 birth centers that are great options for natural births. We also have 2 large hospitals that are each very different from each other. If you are most comfortable in your home, look in to home birth. This is a great option because for most of us, our home is a safe space and will give us everything we need for our bodies to relax and give birth.
These are my top three rookie mistakes that I see again and again as a Tacoma birth doula. If you are interested in learning more about using a birth guide to help you have a natural birth, check out my website HERE.
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